Carolyn (Durfee) McLean

 Last month, Carolyn McLean, passed away peacefully in her sleep. She has joined her husband Harold “Mac” McLean and her younger son Steven. Carolyn was a great wife, mother, grandmother and friend. Carolyn was born to William “Bill” and Flora Durfee in Massachusetts in the year 1923.

She was an only child who made many lifelong friends in her childhood. Mac and Carolyn’s romance began when they meet on Valentine’s Day while attending the University of Massachusetts – Amherst. They were married in the fall of 1943 and shared the rest of their lives together. Carolyn founded a family tradition of dropping out of college on the first attempt. She also founded the tradition of returning to school to graduate with honors!

Carolyn was a homemaker all of her life, giving her full support to her family. The oldest son, Russell, was born while Mac was fighting in Europe. Steven (deceased), was born while Mac was a full time teacher, having used the G.I. Bill to earn a master’s degree in education. Carolyn’s support helped to guide Mac’s 36-year career in the Massachusetts public education system. Behind every successful man, there is a great woman.

During the lean years, Carolyn could make the Indian ride the buffalo on a nickel. With her careful management, the family always had what they needed. Vacations were not in the budget, so in 1955, Carolyn started the family with tent camping. She purchased a good used tent made in the 1920s. At first, the young family traveled the nearby New England States. As income improved, they saw more of the eastern U.S. and eastern Canada. Eventually, newer tents and equipment was obtained, but they still enjoyed tent camping and the adventures that created.

Carolyn and Mac shared this love with their grandchildren, many of whom carry on the tradition. Some of their warmest memories are from sharing a campground with their grandparents and Mac making blueberry pancakes for breakfast. In 1979, Russ moved his family to southern Arizona for a new job. That summer, Carolyn and Mac took a camping trip to visit the grandkids – that was the last time they traveled without air conditioning. As they approached their retirement, they moved to pop-up tent trailers. Carolyn and Mac succeeded in camping in all 48 contiguous states, and all the Canadian Provinces. They chronicled their adventures with written travel logs, and thousands of slides and photographs. Carolyn even proudly had a photograph of a lighthouse published in a national magazine.

In her declining years, she took immense pleasure in reading Mac’s travel logs and reliving their shared journeys. In 1982, Carolyn and Mac retired to Athol, Massachusetts to help Carolyn’s parents. Later in 2001, they moved to Sierra Vista to be closer to the remaining family and becoming a permanent fixture in their great-grandchildren’s lives.

The tent trailer was left behind with a young couple in their old neighborhood so that family can create their own camping traditions. They bought a new home and delighted in exploring Arizona and New Mexico, this time in hotels. They also formed a strong friendship with the weekly “Domino Crew.” Eventually, age started taking its toll. Mac was first, Alzheimer’s began the slow process of taking him away. Carolyn kept him at home, caring for him until hospitalization was absolutely required. The family did everything they could, until it reached a point where they were more worried about Carolyn. Mac passed in December of 2009.

Carolyn continued to live in their home, with some support from the family, friends, and her church. Eventually, Alzheimer’s began nibbling little bits away. The short term memory came first (she could still recite wonderful stories from her childhood and camping trips). Then came the random, unexplained falls. Carolyn remained very much in charge, only allowing her son to take over financial tasks that she could no longer master, voluntarily giving up driving, and then announcing that it was time for assisted living. Carolyn once told her grandsons, with a smile, that getting old was only for the tough.

Carolyn chose Prestige Assisted Living, conveniently near her granddaughter’s family. The great-grandchildren would go over to reset her TV (again). Carolyn continued her weekly game with the “Domino Crew.” She made many friends at her dining room table and the staff at Prestige took wonderful care of her as her capabilities became more restricted. She enjoyed the ministry visits from Faith Presbyterian Church. She especially liked the visits from the church youth group. Carolyn took a long, hard ride with Alzheimer’s (the family never used that word, but she was aware that she had dementia).

Her final years were peaceful, with the exception of a couple of sleepless, high anxiety weeks in February. Her calling 911 from her apartment phone sounds funnier now.

Carolyn and the family got through this with help from the gentle and caring staff of Prestige Assisted Living, the Expressions Memory Care staff, and Dr. P. Patel and his staff. Carolyn’s final days were peaceful, due to the wonderful care from Expressions and Casa de la Paz. The family is forever grateful for all of their help.

Carolyn is survived by her son Russ (Marian); her grandchildren, Russ, Missy (Dave), Matt, Jen and Dan (Barbie); and her great-grandchildren Cody, Cassie, Harmony, and Gabbie; and a wonderful extended family with the Kolars, the Bosleys and half of the original “Domino Crew.”

There will be no services.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to your favorite charity or throw a little extra into the Salvation Army kettle at Christmas time.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Carolyn (Durfee) McLean, please visit our floral store.